A New Understanding: processing Grief through Writing

 

 "Being able to reflect on a loss through writing may allow you a safe and healthy way to process and adjust to your grief journey." 

Throughout my life, I have always been a journaler. Once or twice a day in high school and college, I would open my journal and take stock of my day. Random musings, snippets of poetry, or the play-by-play of daily events may come up. But most importantly, this world of written words was my space to reflect on complex emotions, even those I could not fully explain or understand. 

Within grief, we may find it hard to verbalize everything we're experiencing. There may be times when writing something down-something you can come back to and reflect on-can be just as helpful as talking to someone about it. Experts in the field of writing and writing theory suggest  that the act of writing can allow the writer to produce new ideas and increase awareness. According to the philosopher Paul Ricoeur, "to narrate is to reflect on events and, in the story, a pattern of understanding is formed based on one's own experiences. This interweaving may yield new insights and new stories and create coherence in life that allows the individual to adapt to an altered life situation."  Being able to reflect on a loss through writing may allow you a safe and healthy way to process and adjust to your grief journey. 

There are various forms of writing that can be used to cultivate a daily writing practice:

Structured writing: This can include using writing prompts or doing a specific project like writing a letter to your loved one who died. Examples of prompts that may spark you to write include:

• "Today, I miss," "Today, I remembered...," "If I could say something to you, I would say..."
• "What feelings am I looking forward to? What feelings do I want to leave behind?" 
• "Here are five ways I can be compassionate with myself today..."

Free writing: Free writing is typically writing without a prompt or goal in mind-just writing intuitively. The idea of free writing can be intimidating, but it can be an incredibly restorative practice. Free writing asks you to write continuously, without concern for grammar, punctuation, or spelling. It asks that you don't cross out anything and don't let your inner editor try to control what you're writing. Try writing down the first thoughts running through your head in the morning and continue writing. Keep your hand moving and try not to pause to read what you just wrote, as that can unleash that inner editor. 

No matter how you decide to give writing a try, know that it can be a safe space just for you, to express your grief in whatever way you need to. 

A New Understanding: Processing Grief through Writing was penned by Sarah McIntosh, MSSA, LSW for Hospice of the Western Reserve's About Grief, Summer, 2023. You can read a condensed version of this article in our Summer, 2023 New Horizons newsletter.